Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Why I don't pay for Dance anymore!




The other night someone asked me "Why do you pay so much money for your girls to dance?" 

Well I have a confession to make, I don't pay for dance. Personally, I couldn't care less about dance. I grew up in a family of 4 boys and no girls. The "Nutcracker" was something you did on a dare off of the high dive at the pool or something you unpleasantly surprised your brother with. Up until the day I met my wife if I were asked to go to Swan Lake I would have asked if we were water skiing or fishing.



So if I am not paying for dance what am I paying for? I pay for those moments when my daughters become so tired they want to quit but don't. I pay for those days when my daughters come home from school and are "too tired" to go dance but go anyway. I pay for my daughters to learn to be graceful. I pay for my daughters to learn to take care of their body. I pay for my daughters to learn to work with others and to be good teammates. I pay for my daughters to learn to deal with disappointment, when they don't get that part they hoped for, but still have to work hard at the part that they received. I pay for my daughters learn to make and accomplish goals. I pay for my daughters to learn that it takes hours and hours and hours and hours of hard work and practice to create something beautiful, and that success does not happen over night. I pay for the opportunity my daughters have and will have to make life long friendships. I pay so that my daughters can be on stage instead of in front of a screen...


 
I could go on but to be short, I don't pay for dance, I pay for the opportunities that dance provides my daughters to develop attributes that will serve them well throughout their lives and give them the opportunity to bless the lives of others. From what I have seen so far I think it is a great investment! 

I am sure that other parents get similar questions. "Why do you pay for competitive baseball?" "Why do you pay for Quarterback training?" "Why do you pay for club soccer?" "Why does your kid swim year round?".... I just think it is important to realize what we are really paying for. 

Shad Martin, Especially for Athletes



Visit http://www.especiallyforathletes.com/ to see the difference that E4A athletes and dancers are making in the world and to have the E4A team come visit your team or company.

72 comments:

  1. Awesome! Let's not forget about our boys though. Dance gives all those wonderful qualities to our boys as well

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    1. Love those boy dancers. I have one too. :)

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    2. TY! I also have a boy dancer and have seen him grow so much over the last 3 years, both as a person and a dancer. Wouldn't trade it for the world!

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    3. TY! I also have a boy dancer and have seen him grow so much over the last 3 years, both as a person and a dancer. Wouldn't trade it for the world!

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    4. Yes! Same here! I have two boy danseurs. My eight year old is on his 5th year and my 7 year old on his 4th year. All the same things as mentioned in the post apply to them.. and even more so they learn to stand up for what they believe in and what they love as boys. They learn to not take anyone's negative comments and pursue their passion. It's amazing. I love it.

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    5. Yep, a daughter and son who do competitive hip hop as well as softball & baseball. I get it. I have seen the empowerment, the improvement, the putting a team before the self, have ownership, accountability, responsibility - I pay to see them become better off the floor/field. Love this.

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    6. There is a woman on facebook who basically stole your whole post and is claiming it to be her own.
      http://shadmartin.blogspot.com/2015/10/why-i-dont-pay-for-dance-anymore.html?m=1

      Delete
  2. Awesome! Let's not forget about our boys though. Dance gives all those wonderful qualities to our boys as well

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  3. I agree so strongly with this. Dance has taught my girls all of these things (and more). http://shamrocksoapswi.com/blogs/ghillies-and-giggles

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  4. Well said! Thank you for those beautiful and thought provoking words.

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  5. Incredibly well written reflection about the attributes gleaned from dance.

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  6. As a Director/Choreographers mother I can't agree with this story more. People used to tell me that i was wasting money of so many dance lessons each week. I would respond with, "You can't put a price tag on a fit body,mind & soul. My kids are at the studio or they are home with us! They are not running the streets with their friend and getting into trouble as are their friends." Dance builds a sense of self worth and builds strong friendships with your dance family that last a lifetime. All the hours spent off at the studio with my daughters growing up paid off in the end. One of my daughters opened her studio while she was in her senior year of high school with one of the other dancers she grew up with and is a very successful studio owner of Dance Attitudes in Pawtucket, RI. She passes on her love of dance to her students and builds their confidence through dance. Our students truly are family in every sense of the word.... Why dance???

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  7. You have NO IDEA how many Dance Teachers ADORE you for this blog ... myself included!!!

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  8. I love this!!! I have a boy and a girl who both love dance and it's absolutely true!!!!!! People don't realize what all dance does for kids!

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  9. Just shared this on the StarQuest wall...Wonderful words to be reminded. I often tell my guests at StarQuest "Dance doesn't have a place in my life really, however the growth opportunities for all these young artists, that's what rules me

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  10. I also have a boy dancer and couldn't agree more!

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  11. This is so on point! My daughter is also blessed with amazing role models in the older girls at our studio. Kudos to you for being able to put in writing exactly how I feel as a dance mom!

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  12. I love this! I'm a soccer and rugby mom and these words could have come from my mouth! Well said! My girls and boys are better people for their dedication and participation in team sports!

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  13. I love this! I'm a soccer and rugby mom and these words could have come from my mouth! Well said! My girls and boys are better people for their dedication and participation in team sports!

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  14. As a past dance instructor I agree with everything you have said.. As a teacher confidence is #1, discipline, tolerance and patience (not evetyone is talented). Leadership, inspiration, conquering fears, and being the best you can be. The ability to tell a story without talking with your imagination. Very well put Bravo thank you!

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  15. Don't forget the confidence, self-esteem, pride, hard work ethic, & challenges they get from dance too!

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  16. I am a gymnastics club owner and people would thought we were crazy as well. Now, we have two kids that have grown to be coaches, and one still in our program. They love being fit and helping others become fit. Our family spends a lot of time together, and that is Priceless!

    As an owner I get to watch a child with very little confidence walk in, similar to the "shrunken violet", and watch that same child walk with their head tall and like they own the world, after a just a little while in gymnastics. That is the most amazing site and often brings tears to my eyes. That is the power of athletics. That, to me is priceless! I wish I could give away gymnastics, but alas, we have bills to pay.

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  17. I am a gymnastics club owner and people would thought we were crazy as well. Now, we have two kids that have grown to be coaches, and one still in our program. They love being fit and helping others become fit. Our family spends a lot of time together, and that is Priceless!

    As an owner I get to watch a child with very little confidence walk in, similar to the "shrunken violet", and watch that same child walk with their head tall and like they own the world, after a just a little while in gymnastics. That is the most amazing site and often brings tears to my eyes. That is the power of athletics. That, to me is priceless! I wish I could give away gymnastics, but alas, we have bills to pay.

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  18. Not every child can be an athlete. And not every child gains confidence from playing sports.

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    1. Pretty much any child will be able to get something out of some form of sport. The whole point of this article is the importance of the life skills and fitness the kids are gaining. They don't have to be good at a sport to do that, just participate and work to improve on their own performance. Individual sports like gymnastic or martial arts can be good for less sporty kids because they don't have to keep up with a team and can just focus on their own performance. I got a lot out of gmnastics as a child without ever being any good at it.

      Equally though, while the article is very positive about the benefits of sports and physical activity it nowhere suggests forcing children to take up activities they don't enjoy, and while I think there will be some form of physical activity out there to appeal to almost any child, a lot of the same points (minus those relating to health and fitness) apply to other non-physical activities. You could not pay for drama, or choir, or band, or art, just the way you could not pay for dance or gymnastics.

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  19. I couldn't have said it better myself! Thank you

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  20. I was fortunate to be a professional dancer for many years before starting my own family. As you so eloquently put, the tools that dance gave me are so much more than how to point my toes or do a high kick. I am so thankful that my parents introduced me to dance and while I don't dance anymore(except for in my kitchen). I use those skills in my everyday life and my career now. Bravo

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  21. Thank you, as a "Dance" Instructor for over 20 years, I love teaching all those things to handi-capable and handicapped children and adults and if they learn how to dance in the process, Great!

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  22. As a teacher, studio owner, choreographer I say THANK YOU and GOD BLESS! This is so well written,

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  23. I agree, my son, who has played basketball since he was 6, gave up basketball in his senior year of high school for dance. My husband thought he had lost his mind..lol.but his passion is real and has been dancing for a year and you would think he has been dancing for many years. I am so proud of his accomplishments and the hard work that he put in on a daily basis. It shows in class, performance, and when he competes. Also, the same applies to my 10 yr old daughter. The progression is amazing. They attend Xfinity Dance Academy in Picayune, MS. under the ownership and direction of Ejae James and Ne'kia Carter..THEY ARE AMAZING..

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  24. As a father of three boys and the husband of an accomplished ballerina and now studio owner and company founder, this is GOLD! Thank you, Shad, for articulating what the rest of us intuitively feel...

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  25. This message was a complete eye opener for me! I have one daughter and she started dancing at a much older age than others and I'm so guilty of NOT having the confidence that my daughter will continue with dance, hence thinking my money will be wasted on lessons. Also, I'm guilty of comparing her to others which is soooo wrong and completely missing the whole picture! Thank you, thank you for writing this! My secret little "bad attitude" seriously was doing damage and I'm now aware. Dance is something she has a desire for regardless of her level and I will now embrace that and not pay so grudgingly!

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  26. This message was a complete eye opener for me! I have one daughter and she started dancing at a much older age than others and I'm so guilty of NOT having the confidence that my daughter will continue with dance, hence thinking my money will be wasted on lessons. Also, I'm guilty of comparing her to others which is soooo wrong and completely missing the whole picture! Thank you, thank you for writing this! My secret little "bad attitude" seriously was doing damage and I'm now aware. Dance is something she has a desire for regardless of her level and I will now embrace that and not pay so grudgingly!

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  27. All those qualities and learning experiences could be learned in life as well without having to pay for anything! It just takes a little imagination on tthe part of the parents.

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    1. Talk is ALLWAYS CHEAP !!! There is NO WAY a parent can DUPLICATE all the EXERCISE, CONFIDENCE, SPORTSMANSHIP, DEDICATION, SOCIALIZATION, GROSS MOTOR SKILL DEVELOPMENT, LEADERSHIP, COGNITION /MEMORY, THE ABILITY TO PERFORM IN FRONT LARGE GROUPS & FUN !!!
      I'd be willing to bet that you wouldn't last ONE MONTH trying to providing ALL those things for even ONE CHILD, let alone 2 or 3. You need to KEEP IT REAL !!!

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  28. I use to get that very same question, why do you pay so much for dance, wish I had that kind of money. Your answer is so well put together, I felt all that you said, but at that time wasn't able to put it into those words, I applaud you, and I Thank you. My daughters are now 37 and 28 years old, I've never regretted any of it. And they are all that I knew they would be, and more. I spent my money well.

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  29. If it's ok with you, I would like to put this into our monthly dance newsletter (I write the newsletter). I would give you credit and include a link to the original article.

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  30. This year it was with great sadness that I let my beautiful, graceful daughter choose to quit dance. She was diagnosed with an Auditory Processing Disorder which we found out made dance an extremely difficult environment for her to learn in. She is unable to process language correctly and only hears about half of each sentence that is spoken by a teacher/instructor. Background noise makes it much more difficult.
    She loved performing so much and was the best in her age group by far at the recital this year. Unfortunately, our school tends to never put money back into the business. They have three small rooms and never have anyone available to ask questions to that doesn't act like it is a huge burden. My daughter kept getting stuck in the same class year after year and the teacher's wouldn't tell us specifically what skill/skills had to be met to move up. The decisions seemed to be made largely on favorites and room size. The owner's make a lot of money, but none goes back into the building. My daughter was hit in the face once during ballet because they had so many children crammed in a tiny room, there was not enough room for the girl next to her to extend her arm without hitting my daughter in the face.
    The last straw this year was that my girl was so obviously ahead of all the girl's in her recital class and just stood out. I was told that by many people, not just the proud mommy. We go in for the dreaded class placement, and she again is kept in the same class while all others moved up. On top of that, one of the Teacher's refused to make any accommodations or help her in any way with her processing Disorder. 20 years from now, when more is known about this disability, it would be like refusing a ramp to someone in a wheelchair.
    Lastly, my daughter was obsessed with her weight and was starting to show some significant red flags for an eating disorder. She is a bit underweight and has the most gorgeous sculpted arms and beautiful body. She is only 11. The way she felt as she walked out of the "class placement" day without being moved up again was brutal. I still made her go to the first day of classes because I didn't want to give up on all the years she had put in and enjoyed so much. She shined on staged and loved performing so much!
    She came home from the first day of class and said that it was so slow, and she knew it all from last year and was just feeling so horrible about herself. I realized I needed to let it go, as it was causing her pain and very low self esteem and I really would just get little feedback after much communication with the owner,
    I am happy to say, she has not even brought up her weight at all since leaving dance. Is playing soccer and is loving it even with some drama there....
    She isn't constantly beating herself up over not being able to stay with her peers as she was in dance with no real explanations of what she needed to do to move up.
    Sorry to be the Debbie Downer, but I am heartbroken that she had to go through what she did in this Dance School. Unfortunately, there is really no where else to go for dance in our area. Watch out for red flags with eating disorders. I probably would have stopped sooner if I had realized it completely stopped when she left dance. I spoke to teacher's and owner's many times about it.....

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    1. So sorry for your daughter's negative dance experience. It sounds like the negative experience was due to the specific school she was enrolled in. I'm glad she is thriving in a new activity.

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    2. Please realize dance was not the issue---a bad studio was. There is nothing wrong with your child decided not to do dance and finding something else that she prefers, but know that you could always look for another dance studio

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  31. I am eternally grateful that my parents put me in dance and that i enjoyed it. I began when I was 4yrs old. My parents didnt have a lot of money, but I eventually recognized that the abovementioned was the reason why they made the financial sacrafice. Dance has become a lifestyle for me. I am 42 yrs old , fit and disciplined in all that I do. Of course, i give my parents alot of credit for my upbringing, but dance and sport also made me who i am today.
    Currently, I am working on a conservative burleque routine with a group of twenty something year olds for a performance at House of Blues. Thank you for this article and thank you to my parents for putting me in dance .

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  32. So true! :0) <3 Very heartfelt reminder why we all love the world of dance! See what coaches problems I have gone through over the years especially since I started my 65yr old Sassy Senior Dance Team. UGH! Never knew what I was getting into when we started that team! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBhR95lofUs

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  33. Enjoy yourself and keep telling yourself that you're the best there.

    Better when I'm Dancin Violin Lesson

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  34. there is a woman on facebook who basically plagiarized your whole post.

    Sharon M Williams. And this is her post.

    Why I don't I pay for ice hockey, baseball or lacrosse....

    The other night someone asked me " Why do you pay so much money for your kids to play hockey and travel all the time? Aren't you worn out and tired?"

    " Well I have a confession to make, Jon and I don't pay for all these sports!
    Personally, I love watching my children play. These are sports I have grown to love because let's face it... Not much happens in Oklahoma City on the weekends! I grew up playing field hockey and tennis, Jon, baseball and football.
    So if I'm not paying for these sports then what am I paying for? I pay for the moments when my children become so tired they want to quit but do not. I pay for those days when my kids come home from school with tons of homework and are "too tired" to go to practice but show up anyway. I pay for my children to learn to work well with others and to be a good team mate. I pay for my children to deal with disappointment, when they do not get the position they are hoping for, but still have to work hard for the one they received. I pay for my kids to make and accomplish goals. I pay for my kids to learn that it takes hours and hours of hard work and practice to create something beautiful, and that success dose not happen overnight. I pay for the opportunity that my kids will have and to make life-long friendships. I pay for the opportunities that they may have in the future because they learned how to be a student-athlete.

    I could go on but to be short, I don't pay for these sports, hockey, baseball or lacrosse, I pay for the opportunities that these sports provide my children to develop their attributes that will serve them well throughtout their life and give them the opportunity to bless the lives of others. From what I have seen so far it is a great investment.

    I am sure other parents get the same question "Why do you pay for dance?" "Why do you pay for soccer club?" "Why does your kid swim year round?"...... I just think it is important to realize what we are paying for.

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    1. And this woman has plagiarized on her studio's website, facebook, and linkedin account as well. Shame.
      (It's been pointed out to her as well that she needs to give credit where it's due, but we will see if she does what's right)
      http://www.victoriaballet.com/2017/02/14/why-do-i-pay-for-ballet-classes/

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  35. I am an Adult Dancer (50+) and I get asked these same questions by co-workers and some family members. Why spend so much time and money towards something that I will never make a career from. Your post explains perfectly why I happily payed for my daughters dance education and now my own.

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  36. You are given the content of useful, thank you
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  37. I have 2 teenagers (1 boy and 1 girl) that dance competitively. I can't imagine where they'd be without dance. It has been such a great character building experience for both of them. I don't care how much it costs. It's cheaper than bail.

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  38. Request for Permission to copy and edit and re post.

    ReplyDelete
  39. The blog is very motivating, i hope it motivates people and other girls to dance.
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  41. This is awesome Shad.
    My partner, Liz imperio & I have a dance program called Breaking Barriers... Liz is a 25 year seasoned master teacher & choreographer to the stars. We're In the middle of creating a parents program as well. In the meantime We'd love to give you a copy of the full program for free & hear what you think.
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  42. My Granddaughter is 8 years old and this will be her sixth year in dance. She loves it so much that she has missed maybe one class. This year she is very exited as she is doing her first solo in Jazz! I would not want her to miss the opportunity to grow personally, physically and mentally. She is a hard worker and her team of 5 won Gold Honors for a Tap routine last season in a competition. I love that she gets to experience different eras of music. Her teachers are all dedicated and so proud of all the students. She is exhausted after dancing but that's a good thing. She is being challenged both physically and mentally. I am a very proud grandma....she is my heart!

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  43. Wonderful! Would you mind if our studio linked this post from our website?

    ReplyDelete
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  46. I have also had people ask me, "why do you spend so much money on things like dance?" Well, in the first place it's none of their business. But I want my daughter to have the opportunity to learn dance so she can try out for theater roles, drill team and other things that weren't an option for me because my parents couldn't afford dance, so I didn't have the required dance training for those things.

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  48. it have awesome and most essential post belong to Shad Martin, Especially for Athletes.








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  49. Own a hiphop studio because my son realized he loved to dance and could do it well...like with his football/mixed martial arts/baseball and more we put all we have into dance and it has surpassed his level of all things due to what it takes to be a competitive hiphop dancer! His coaches literally laughed at us and said 'what? Is he going to dance across the field?' After a few mths, they came to me apologizing due to seeing how dance had improved my son's 'sports' prowess to another level. No one could believe how quick and easily a 6' 210lb boy could move so quick and gracefully! At that moment I explained- dance IS a sport and more than that...dance has taught my son so many life skills it is something that will forever be a part of him...yes, PLEASE do not forget our boys!!! At Stomp Factory here in Houston,Tx we search out boys just to let them know it's ok to be a dancer...it's not promoted due to preconceived notions and football is a religion all by itself where we live so boy dancers are few and far in-between. Thank you for this article! It has touched on so many things versed in such an awesome article!

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